Empathy: a pathway to inner Peace

Empathy: from the ancient Greek "en-pathos", within feeling, is that faculty that allows us to feel what the other, human, animal or plant in front of us is feeling. Empathy has nothing to do with sympathy or antipathy. The first, literally "feeling together" occurs when we resonate positively with what the other is feeling because we share it and feel it too: as an emotion, a thought, a reflection, a vision, a perspective etc.

Antipathy, on the other hand, (from the Greek: "to feel against") occurs when we resonate negatively with someone, feeling repulsion and distance towards what the other is feeling, thinking and communicating to us, as it is annoying and therefore we do not like it.

Sympathy and antipathy are instinctive and immediate. We do not consciously decide whether we will like something or not. We like or dislike something based on who we are, on our experience and on our experiences and beliefs.

Empathy, on the other hand, allows us to probe, perceive and feel what the other is feeling beyond our personal preferences. This allows us to establish a relationship, a more conscious and conscious exchange as well as more functional because the state of others is pragmatically and concretely taken into consideration by calibrating our behaviour and our actions towards it.

In order not to be overwhelmed by what the other feels, it is necessary to center oneself in the heart, an energy center that includes everything, divides nothing, but discerns all. What does this mean? It means recognising that every human journey is sacred, not because it is right or wrong, but because the experience that that soul is having is sacred. No matter how aware they are (or we think they are), this is not something we are in charge of. We can only welcome and accept what they are experiencing, also seeing it as a reflection of our psychic dynamics. Who hasn't gone through judgment and condemning separation?

Conceiving the world as a great dream populated by spirits, demons, angels and gods who speak out for the calls coming from our soul, releases our reality from an objectivistic, moralistic, and materialistic cage, to bring it back to the valley of the soul making, where what matters is the experience that is made to understand and dissolve what (apparently) separates us from the divine source of all existence, whose personal portal is located right in our heart, seat of the soul.

If we can remember our deep essence, we can only have infinite faith and we will no longer feel truly rejected, attacked, targeted and hit in our deepest core; and even when situations of this kind come to meet us on the doorstep, we will treat them as spirits with whom we can establish a dialogue, saying to them "Come in, what do you have to tell me today? Tell me everything and I will listen to you ".

What is not known is feared, but true knowledge involves also the heart; it’s not a mere materialistic and bizarre speculation. When something it is known, one no longer fears it; it is understood, discerned, heard, but not feared.
Let's take a practical example of what can happen when this centring is not present, when you have no faith in life, and the belief that you are not worthy of being able to live is hidden deep within, kicking and influencing your relationship with yourself and life itself.

In the private sphere, at work or in common situations of our daily life, we can find ourselves in front of someone who we perceive is attacking us.

The impulsive response reactions could be: a closure, a response attack or suffering having the wound exposed. In all situations our faith of the heart is forgotten and we succumb to the taking of power by our wounds, our painful parts, which if touched, or if the day is not good, even if only grazed on, make us jump our nerves and make us react impulsively.

All our wounded parts must be taken by the hand and guided by the loving and wise adult that we can be for them today.

In the first case, that of closure, the attacked part retracts into its own shell to protect itself, but remains in pain, increasing and confirming it, the role of the attacked victim.

In the third case we don’t withdraw ourselves but at the same time we are taking care of our wounds, and we submit them to something that is still too difficult to deal with in a serene way. We stay passive and reinforce the sufferance. This happens when we are identified with our wounds in a victim-like way.

In the second case, however, the return attack starts a ping-pong game where from throw to throw the ball becomes heavier and more charged with those colours typical of the current dynamics.

Through perception, we come into contact with a feeling, which arouses emotions which in turn lead to an action or a reaction.

The key is to be present to oneself, not to block or ignoring anything, but to be deeply present to oneself by observing every movement that is generated in us. The more you train to be present, the more you have the chance to get out of the game of a disturbed emotional plane.

By doing so we are able to use a clearer gaze, without letting our injured parts take over and prompt us to react automatically instead of acting consciously. It is not a question of denying them, but only of lowering their volume so that you can hear the voice that lies behind the attack of the other, so that there can be an understanding and not an exasperated and confusing crescendo of tension, anger, or painful sorrow that would lead nowhere but only to feel emptied and impoverished and further wounded.

Perhaps dialogue will not always be possible immediately, since everyone has their own times, their skills and their own path, this applies to both us and the other. It is important to recognise your limitations and to acknowledge if you need time for self-listening without pushing yourself in trying to do something you are not ready for. The chances of a painful and aching fracture will be reduced, leaving room for a broader and ligther feeling and a substantially different terrain of communication, where curiosity and sense of discovery replace defence and attack, feeling more at peace e contributing to spreading peace all around.